| Much Ado About Very Little |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|11:45 pm] |
So, today marks a year of dormancy on this particular corner of cyber-space. Returning to LiveJournal, I am shocked by the distinct tang of relic. One year is not a long time by any account, and yet it seems to be a digital lifetime. The green fields of Facebook have left LiveJournal a wasteland, and what used to be the Thermocline Series (my favorite exercise in LiveJournalism) has been reduced to "Dean Tambling is going down through the thermocline" on Monday and "Dean Tambling is coming up through the thermocline" on Friday. We are quantified now, our lives a flipbook of one-sentence updates, Tweeted and Mini-Fed for instant gratification. I can tell that we're going down the tubes (so to speak) when I find myself pining for the civility and refinement of LiveJournal. And, to that end, I find myself back here. The freshman that started this journal has given way to the freshman writing in it now, and there is scant allegiance between the two. And yet, this desire to prognosticate, to put things down in more than a few strategic words remains strong with me.
So, uh, watch this space, I guess.
I'm not over this thing just yet. |
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| Joe Pesci In Ancient Greece |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|08:55 pm] |
"So I'm standing there, and he's just lookin' at me, you know, like some dope. So I says: 'Oedipus, what are you still doing standing there? I thought I told you to go fuck your mother!' I tell ya, he nearly shit!"
Hee hee. |
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| Hypothetically... |
[May. 12th, 2007|01:43 pm] |
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Is it weird to spy on your next-door neighbor with a pair of binoculars if your next-door neighbor is a parrot? |
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| Ugh. |
[Apr. 5th, 2007|09:03 pm] |
Last week was shit.
This week was shit.
Next week will be shit.
That jedi simply ain't comin' back. |
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| Always |
[Mar. 31st, 2007|12:13 am] |
The empire may strike back, but the jedi always returns.
Remember that. |
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| This Sort Of Shit Always Happens To Me |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|06:42 pm] |
So I was sitting around, reading Metamorphoses, and all of a sudden Bacchus busts through the door, and before I can get a word in edgewise, he puts a hex on me. I tried to talk him out of it, but before you know it my throat tightens up, and all I can manage is a quack. Then my toes start growing webbing, and all my hair became feathers. Then my nose and mouth start growing out into an orange bill, and next thing you know, I'm a duck.
Moral of the story: now I'm a fucking duck. God damn it. |
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| Cutest Invasion Ever |
[Mar. 2nd, 2007|01:38 pm] |
Sadly, this entry does not have anything to do with a Mitch Hedberg joke. Oh well.
In other news, did you guys hear about Switzerland accidentally invading Liechtenstein? I don't think there's been a more adorable military operation in history. Basically, 170 Swiss troops got lost and wandered into Liechtenstein before they realized what they had done and turned around. The internet's buzzing about this act of aggression and whatnot, with "neutral, my ass!" being thrown around regularly. But Switzerland has come out and said "sorry," and Liechtenstein has said "it's not like they had attack helicopters" (direct quote). So these two fuzzy little European countries keep living in peace, despite what the Internet wants them to do. We can learn a lot from these two little weaklings, even if one can't read a bloody map.
(P.S. Liechtenstein doesn't even have an army, so if Switzerland were to invade them, it wouldn't make much difference.) |
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| Required Viewing |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|08:23 pm] |
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I am putting into effect mandatory, weekly screenings of "The Big Lebowski," beginning... I don't know... March 9, maybe March 16? But we need to have this movie on constant loop, every line memorized, soundtrack blasting from all of our cars, to set the mood, the bar, the standard for second semester. This is essential. This is imperative. This, simply, must happen. |
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| X-Wings Draw Fire |
[Dec. 14th, 2006|07:34 pm] |
We've launched from the fourth moon.
The X-Wings are drawing fire.
Use the Force.
Use the Force. |
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| Billy Budd |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|10:23 pm] |
So, the juniors are reading and complaining about Billy Budd, meaning I have to pull it out of its comfortable grave and start talking about it again. Basically, I maintain that Herman Melville ruined that story with the inclusion of one word:
"...like lazy gods..." versus "...like the lazy gods..."
I originally read that sentence as the first version, and found myself repeating it for days, marveling at the image it left. Reading it again, to make sure I was quoting it correctly, I realized that it is in fact the second version. Billy Budd's main strength is the only mildly adulterated divinity of its characters. Billy, Claggart, Dansker, and Vere are all perfect manifestations of what they are to be, and to turn that sentence from a categorization, saying that the sailors up in the rigging are like lazy gods, to a direct comparison, saying they're like the lazy gods, does the imagery and then the book a terrible disservice. Anyway, I just felt like splitting some hairs, and, that accomplished, steal away to bed. |
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| On Fallibility |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|10:41 pm] |
Hey, remember when I pretended to be invulnerable to love?
Yeah... so do I.
Heh. |
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| Last Call For Buses |
[Nov. 5th, 2006|11:11 pm] |
Well, it's done. The Hollywood Bowl 2006 Season is, as far as I'm concerned, over. And it ended on one hell of a high note. More utterances of "thank you" and "you're doing a great job" than I've ever heard, most of the old cast of characters back for one last hurrah, and, most weirdly but most importantly, everything felt like it did at the beginning. The air had the same sultry tenderness, the moon the same smiling fullness, the city the same glinting mystery, the future the same untarnished promise, and as The Who played "Listening to You," I could feel that same satisfying fade to credits, and everything felt right. Then, coming back over the hill, the temperature dropped fifteen degrees in a matter of seconds, and the smell of fall was in the air, and I realized that summer stayed alive and kicking as long as I was at the Bowl, and was ready to take a nice, long nap.
One last little thing that made tonight special: as Kat and I were walking out of Wardrobe (the Armory), uniforms obligatorily messed up and not a care in the world, we both realized that we're not co-workers any more, and what would have usually been discreet and furtive handholding was an unabashed, arms around each other embrace, in full view of our supervisors, our superiors, and anyone else who cared to look. It was a moment of sheer, forward-looking joy and relief, and possibly the best I've felt... since I met Kat.
Anyway, that's all one, our play is done, strive to please you every day, etc. Goodnight. |
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| More Like William Fuck-Ner |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
Dear William Faulkner,
We don't care what Caddy smells like.
Sincerely,
The World |
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| Holler |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|04:15 pm] |
Just now, I was looking at my checking account balance, seeing if those $804.58 I had deposited had finally been processed, so that I might bask in my sudden spike in net worth.
Not only had the sum total landed, but an extra $110 check that I had overlooked was deposited as well.
Net effect: I came out of today with a $110 profit.
I love this planet sometimes. |
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| Consarn It |
[Sep. 30th, 2006|11:48 pm] |
This week tried its best to kill me. And it almost succeeded a few times. But ultimately, it failed, and now I'm alive and it's dead.
To celebrate, I went and saw Jackass: Number Two with Andrew. Granted, I was supposed to see Science of Sleep with Kat, but she was busy. And Jackass. My god. There were times when that movie transcended gross-out stunts and attempted suicide and became an ode, a celebration of the bad idea. A shining portrait of immaturity. When the Jackass guys were laughing hysterically as one of their own was having beer poured down a chug funnel into his anus, that laughter was as real as anything can be. Those crazy sons of bitches were having the times of their lives. And it's nice being able to have a window into that. Even if it does make me want to vomit.
Over and out. |
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| Crazy. |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|05:54 pm] |
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So, just as I anticipated, I look back now and see that Gnarls Barkley was the soundtrack of the "carefree" months between the APs and college app season. And I look at the iTunes Music Store, and I see that "Crazy" is the fourth top selling song this week. That is rather unremarkable. What is remarkable is the fact that "Crazy" has been at or around 4th place since a couple of weeks after St. Elsewhere was released. "Crazy" is the Eddie Rickenbacker of digital downloads, and, all things considered, is one of the few big hits of summer. And that restores some of my faith in humanity. |
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| It Is A Period Of Civil War... |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|09:18 pm] |
I just had iTunes on shuffle, and it decided to play me a track from the soundtrack to A New Hope. I read the title, and, well, it seemed appropriate to share with those on the eve of senior year:
"Launch From The Fourth Moon/X-Wings Draw Fire/Use The Force"
I don't know what it is about those three little mantras, but I just say them and I feel better. I hope you will, too.
The force will be with you, always. |
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| Movies |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|12:01 pm] |
1. They've selected a director for the "Halo" movie. He's 26 years old, has only made commercials, music videos, and short films so far, and has never worked with more than a few thousand dollars at a time. His name is Neill Blomkamp, and he is going to make the first video game movie not to suck.
2. The sequel to "Batman Begins" will be called "The Dark Knight" and will feature Heath Ledger as Joker, and Ryan Phillippe as Harvey Dent (later Two Face). 2008 is going to be a damn good year for the blockbuster. |
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